Serious Business

Things got a bit more serious than normal in Apartment 402. After making brownies, Kalli and I decided that it was time to create a contract deciding what must and must not happen in the course of our lives while we are separated. Yes, I am going to miss this life to death while I'm serving a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, but this contract is going to make everything just a little bit easier. We went a little bit above and beyond by pricking out fingers and lathering ourselves with lipstick.....Go big or go home, right?

I, Kalli Elmer do hear-by swear on the sacred bonds of sisterhood and Beyoncé’s visually appealing face that I.....

 1.      Will be present at the airport when Carly returns to Salt Lake City, Utah.

2.      Will be single with no children or husband to call my own

3.      Will diet and exercise with her to remove post mission weight (insanity for days)

4.      Will remove all sugar from Carly’s presence

5.      Will room with Carly and Megan of Spring 2014

6.      Will equally divide time between Carly, Megan and Tyler ( mostly Carly)

7.      Will find Carly an attractive Male

8.      Will write a minimum of 1 letter/email a week

9.      Will send a drawing with every postal letter

10.  Will send a snap chat and a wholesome picture of Beyoncé with every email.

11.  Will attend 1 family Skype session either mother’s day or Christmas

12.  Will send one package every 6 months

13.  Will force Megan Meyer to write Carly at least 2 letters/emails during her mission

14.  Will keep Carly as my best friend

15.  Will send a certain gift when I am kissed

16.  Will keep Carly updated on Aggie Sports

17.  Will not be an Ultimate Aggie without Carly

18.  Will guide Carly in social cue’s and behaviors upon return

19. Will keep a list of all music and movies that must be experienced.

 

I, Carly Barton do hear-by swear on the sacred bonds of sisterhood and Beyoncé’s visually appealing face that I.....

1.      Will write Kalli at least once a week

2.      Will accompany every email with a selfie

3.      Will write a physical letter every fast Sunday

4.      Will send cool Indian jewelry and a cactus to Kalli on occasion

5.      Will live with Kalli when I return to Utah State University

6.      Will call Kalli when I am at the airport

7.      Will practice ASL with Kalli when I return

8.      Will not forget Kalli and keep her as my best friend

9.      Will find Kalli an attractive boy if one is not present

10.  Will Panda Kalli upon first sight-no matter state of dress

11.  Will share secrets of missionary life

 

If any of these terms are broken, the consequences are as listed

 

If Kalli breaks any of these terms

•   Carly can bite me

•   I give Carly a 20 min massage

 

If Carly breaks any of these terms

•   Kalli can touch Carly’s foot for 5 min

•   Must play with Kalli’s hair for 20 min

 

Whoever breaks terms first or most severely will have to take the other on a fun date.

 

 

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Witness

Print Name                                  Sign Name                                      Date 

-------------------------------           ----------------------------------          -----------------------

Print Name                                  Sign Name                                      Date

 

 

 

Blood and Kiss Mark of Carly Barton

 

 

 

Blood and Kiss Mark of Kalli Elmer

There are 5 copies. 1 for Kalli. 1 for the freshman time capsule. 3 for me because I tend to lose things.

Shout out to Megan Meyer for being a fantastic witness and for threatening me enough to get me to prick my finger. I'm still not sure which one was more horrifying- Megan Meyer or the safety pin.