Where has the time gone?

 

  "If everything was perfect we would forget how much we need out Heavenly Father."

 Someone said this in my Sunday School class a few weeks ago and it really stuck with me. Looking back on this past year it is obvious how much help I need from my loving Heavenly Father. My year started out in the peak of a mental disorder. I was weak. Probably the weakest I have even been. My relationship with my loved ones were being effected and I felt completely alone. Finally, I decided to ask for help. I went to my Heavenly Father and begged him to help me. That's when I decided to go to my bishop and open up to my parents about what was really going on inside my head. I couldn't fight myself anymore. That's the thing about mental disorders. You are constantly at war with yourself! Nobody else can tell you to apologize or stop or point fingers. It's all on you. It was hard for me to love myself for a really long time.

 At the same time. I was preparing to embark on my international adventure to Vietnam. In order to go to Vietnam I had to complete 90 hours of community service. This taught me a lot about how blessed I am and I quickly noticed that the war with myself stopped as soon as I started helping other people with their own battles. I truly believe that preparing for the service trip had almost just as much of an effect on me as the actual trip. Heavenly Father really knew what he was doing when youthlinc miraculously had one more spot left on their team even when I applied four months late..

 My next trial wasn't where to go to college, but who to go to college with. Pretty much all of my friends had their hearts set on BYU. I had my heart set on USU and there was no way I was going alone. I remember constantly being on my knees praying that I would end up at the right place with the right people.

Oh boy! He came through 100 times more than I could ever imagine. My roommate, Claire has been a huge blessing in 2013. I know she really didn't want to go to USU. I had to talk her into it. She ended up coming to Logan with me and I couldn't be happier. The friends that we have made up in Logan will always have a place in my heart. They are truly the best roommates I could have asked for.

 Going on a mission was a tough choice to make. A lot of my guy friends left right when High School was over. Throughout the summer it felt like I spent every Sunday running from one farewell to the other. How was I supposed to decide if I should go or not? Once again- it was time to pray. I took a mission prep class and really enjoyed it. Slowly I just decided that my answer was simple. If I have the desire to go I should go. At first I felt like this answer was too simple. I started to doubt myself and tell myself that my desire to go was just because so many of my friends were going. I was terrified! That's when I went to the temple. I sat outside the Logan temple and came across this scripture :

 D&C 4:3- Therefore, if ye have desires to serve God ye are called to the work;

 

This is when I prayed. I told my heavenly father that I had the desire to serve a mission and that I was going to serve a mission. If he didn’t think that was a good idea then I he would have to figure out a way to stop me. My papers go in on January 22 and I could not be more excited. As I have worked on my papers everything has fallen into place. I slowly realize how the timing of everything has almost been too perfect. I have grown so much closer to my Heavenly father and the returned missionaries in my family. Oh how I adore this gospel. I cannot wait to share it with the world.

2013 had so many trials that I will never forget. Now that they are over it’s so much easier to see why everything happened the way it did. I’m so excited to see what 2014 has in store for me. I’m going gain a niece and sister-in-law pretty soon. Who knows what else the lord will put in my life.

 

Here are some of my very favorite memories of 2013:

Senior Theme.

Some of my very favorite kids in Vietnam

Prom with this guy! Hunter and I have been friends since 7th grade. I'm so proud of him for deciding to serve a mission!

GRADUATION

Moving into my dorm with the perfect roommate.

The institute dance!

Decorating the dorm for Christmas

Hanging out with my friends before we all went off to college. This group of girls started in 4th grade just kept growing. They will never realize how much they mean to me.

Sunday drives with Claire. This one in particular will always stay in my memories!

I got to be Reese's nanny for most of her life. I absolutely love this girl!

Call me crazy. But I loved skating at 6:00 am with this lady. Listening to beyonce and goofing off with her was one of the huge reasons why I stuck to the sport.

The senior dinner dance was so fun. (the best part was probably getting ask to dance by my senior crush! wahoo)

Summer hikes with my sister.

LAKE POWELL WITH THE HUBBARD FAMILY

Being silly on the bus in Vietnam.

Embracing the most beautiful place I have ever seen.

Stadium of fire for the 4th of July after a nice day of boating in the sun.



Spring break in Arizona!

The Black Blob

Last night I had the pleasure of going to my very first college institute dance. My roommates and the girls across the hall decided to ignore the neon theme and go in all black. We started making a scene the second we walked into that gym...

 On our way there we were joking about it being another EFY dance with the theme song and everything. You better believe that everyone was doing the EFY theme song/dance when we got there. We jumped right in and it went uphill from there. We were there for about two hours. In those two hours we started at least half a dozen Congo lines, cat walked across the perimeter of the gym (to Beyoncé), got people to lay on the ground and kick their legs (the whole gym was watching and taking pictured or participating at that point), started/won a dance off, and attracted the attention of every person in the room by pretending to be sizzling bacon in the middle of the dance floor. You know you are talented dancers if multiple people ask you if you're one of the Aggie's dance teams! This may or may not have been even better than the famous Halloween howl dance.

WHAT A NIGHT! I feel so lucky to have such amazing friends up here at Utah State. Words cannot describe how fun last night seriously was. The less I take myself seriously the more friends I make! Who knew?? That's what college is all about. Right?

These are 6 of the greatest friends I think I have ever had. I look up to each and every one of them so much!

There's this thing we do. If we see a hot guy or just each other, we grunt and slump down then we immediately go on our tip toes and say yoooowhooo in our very highest pitch. Yeah...We are pretty good at it.

Since everyone thought we were a dance team we figured we needed a dance company picture!

 

Meeting Moses!

I met Moses! How cool is that??? Okay, maybe not the Moses that I've been studying about in Institute but......this Moses was pretty legit! I went on a random date with this guy named Wade.
The date started out at a normal BBQ joint. We ate dinner, talked a bit about where we were from, our families, just the basic get to know you stuff. Then we went to his house and he introduced me to his camels, Moses and Abraham. What?? He asked me if I wanted a ride and before I knew it I was riding Moses! SWEET!

 

Guys. I rode a Camel! WHAOOO!  I didn't know this date could get any better until...

 

He gets out four wheelers and asks me if I want to go find a zebra. Are you kidding me??

We spent the next hour racing around the field searching for his zebra. Okay it was too dark to get a picture but I promise it was for reals! Who knew Logan had zebras! I think I like this whole farm life! I got to pet a zebra, ride a camel, see a zonkey (zebra donkey), play with puppies, and get a free meal! All in all. I guess it was an alright night! :)

Missionary Mondays!

I think the average human hates Mondays. It's the day that you have to go back to work or school after having an awesome weekend full of relaxing and fun.

This weekend I got to go to Vegas with three of my sisters. It was a weekend to be remembered! Playing in the sun, shopping, and talking to my cute sisters. Those are three things I will never turn down. It really reminded me how much I miss them while I'm up here at Utah State. My family will always be life line! I am so blessed to come from the best family around! I'm so upset that I don't have a cute picture to share with the world. My blog posts are getting a little dry without pictures!

We got home Sunday night. Today I woke up at 5:40 in order to drive from Cottonwood Heights all the way to my humble dorm in Logan. This drive ended up being a blessing. While Claire tried to sleep in the back seat I got to catch up with a super good friend of mine. Sarah is one of those girls who you can go a month without talking to but can never stop loving and being friends with. The whole car ride was just a blessing. I loved it!

Next was the whole school thing. That's not so fun. Mondays have become one of my favorite days thanks to my lovely missionary friends. I love when my email's inbox gets flooded with email from the missionaries that I've been cheering on. I may not get any mail in the mailbox, but I do get a heck of a lot of super good emails from my peeps. It's so fun to watch how much each one of them have grown up so fast! I think they have all already learned crucial lessons about themselves, life, and the gospel. Some are homesick, some are having so much success, some of them can't understand what anyone around them is ever talking about, some love their companions, some have nothing in common with their companions, but all of them have learned how much the lord loves them.

One of my favorite missionaries to read about it Gia. She's my first girl-friend to go on a mission. At first her emails seemed like immature complaints about not eating the food that she likes or not being able to hug the friends that she runs into at the MTC. Now she is out in Tennessee and absolutely loving it. Boy has she learned to just suck it up and go to work. They already have 5 baptism dates and she's only been there three weeks. This weeks letter made me completely jealous of her. I want so badly to put on one of those missionary tags. College is fantastic and all but I just want to be out there giving the Lord my all! Why can't my birthday be sooner?

Why can't I Endlessly Travel this Beautiful World?

What am I supposed to do with my life?? Can someone please just mail me a road map? I feel like everyone around me knows exactly what they are doing and where they are going but I have no idea. Today I met with my academic adviser and I realized something...I wanna go in every directions! I WANNA GO TO
Italy
Denmark
Japan
Peru
Ecuador
Norway
Ireland
Kenya
Tonga
Australia
Sweden
Ethiopia
Brazil
India
Germany
Spain
South Africa
New Zealand
Romania
plus maybe Florida if I have time.

Ahhhhhhh I just want to happily travel the world and meet a few cool people as I go without giving my mom a heart attack?? My adviser mentioned getting a major in international studies and a minor in public health. How do I know if this is what I want to do? It sounds cool and all but this is one decision that has a lot of pressure hanging onto it. Shoot! Any advice?

The College Kidnapping

Today is the day that I was kidnapped by college boys. Kidnapping is probably exaggerating. I was just walking home from a tutoring session thingy when a group of boys came running at me. They asked me if I was busy and said that they need girls to help them get on the lacrosse team. My job was to hold a boys hand and jump off some bridge into a very freezing pond/dam/lake thing. Easy enough! I called my roommate Rachel and suddenly we were off on an adventure. Those boys weren't the cutest but it sure was fun to do more spontaneous and random. That's pretty much what college is all about. I've quickly figured out that the most fun things are the unplanned adventures where you end up meeting random people.

Sorry it's super blurry. But here is the crew. Rachel and I are the two girls sitting down.

Mama, I'm a big girl now!

I said goodbye to these girls! It was pretty hard.

I am officially a full-time college student! Somebody pinch me. This whole thing still doesn't feel real. I'm attending Utah State University and seriously loving every second of it. I've been up here for about two weeks and the party hasn't stopped yet. Every night there is something going on. From an 80's dance to high stakes bingo, there is just always somewhere to be and new people to meet. My classes have been going easy on me for the first little bit and I'm hoping they don't get too impossible by the end. I have 5 of the cutest roommates in the world! Over the past two weeks these girls have quickly become my best friends. We are constantly teasing each other, freakin' out because someone (mostly Kenzie) got a letter from a missionary, or just laughing until we cry. I feel so blessed to have gotten roommates that I am able to connect with so easily.

 I can already see my classes getting harder and harder which kinda scares me to death but I just cannot wait to be framiliar with everything. I still get lost on campus and I still cannot remember anyone's names but slowly I know this place is going to feel more and more like my second home.

Now let's talk about the ward. Oh boy! There are 84 girls and 8 boys. Yes. I said 8. At first I looked at this situation and said "This is three hours of relief society where are the boys at!" then I changed my thinking and started saying "Man, that MTC must be full of so many guys!" It's so cool to see such a big difference. One of the Bishop's councilors mentions that he thinks I would be a good Sunday school teacher and told me to expect a phone call in the next little bit. This scared me to death but not I'm actually flattered by that comment. Hopefully that calling will help prepare me for my own mission while helping me meet more people in my ward!

Here are the pictures from my first week of school!





 

These are the "First Day of School" pictures! Rachel made us all pose before we were allowed to go to class.
 

A life long Humanitarian

Vietnam. I cannot stop talking about that amazing country. I spent the last two weeks of July learning so much about Vietnam, service, love, and myself. We flew out there and I was instantly learning new things about how other people live and how grateful I need to be.
The first thing I was taught to be grateful for is driving laws. Let's get one thing straight. I love driving. I love being able to get in my car and just go. Not in this town! Vietnam has one driving rule. Don't get hit. That's it. That's all you focus on. Those roads are every man for himself. There are so many motor bikes zooming every direction in intersections. Cars go into head on traffic to change lanes. Horns are used non-stop. If you aren't using your horn it must be broken! (I'm not exaggerating at all) I could go on and on about how scary those streets are. You cannot even imagine crossing the street! Yes. I was screaming!
While in the main city we went to a war museum. It's crazy how much my history books left out. I never realized how I was clearly being taught one side of the story. That museum really proved how horrible everyone was to each other.
Our team did a number of projects but my favorite by far was working in either of the schools. Being around kids that have so little was the most humbling thing I've ever experienced. The people were so loving and giving towards us. A number of times when I exited the bus I found girls waiting for me ready to fill my hair with flowers and hold my hands as we hiked the 10 minute walk up to the old school. Their favorite thing in the world is nail polish. By the end of the trip I think everyone in the group had at least 6 layers of nail polish on both fingers and toes.

Walking through the town at night never got old. Everyone sits outside of their houses and just enjoys the night. Some are selling stuff and some are just hanging out. Within a couple of days of being there all the people were saying Hello to us. It felt like a daily parade. I loved it! Kids would sometimes follow us but mostly we just smiled and said Hello. I'm not sure if they were laughing at us or with us but it put a smile on every face!
I'll never forget going to the house construction. The day that I was assigned to house construction was one of the rainy days. We had just finished dancing in the rain when we headed over to the house site. By the time we got there the workers had gone home so instead two men gave us a tour of the small community. About 50 families live around the salt farms. At one point the woman let us help them scoop up salt and put it into bags. This is way harder than I had every expected. How did these skinny woman lift up such heavy bags! At one point they asked me to put one of the bags on the scale. Joanna and I struggled to lift it a foot onto the scale. It weighed 100 pounds. Shoot, those things were heavy!
The stories are endless. From swimming in the ocean during a huge rain storm to playing soccer with grown adults who actually know what they are doing. I loved being in Asia and just being part of something great. I am so ready to spend so much more time traveling the world and being a life long humanitarian.

Here are just a few of my favorite moments of the trip aside from the pictures above:

 

I WAS HERE!

If you know me, you know that I LOVE Beyoncé. I love her confidence, her music, her family values, but mostly I love what that woman stands for. Lately one song in particular has meant the world to me. It's called "I was here". The song was written about humanitarian work. It bothers me that most people think Beyoncé is just about shaking her hips and rockin' out. NOPE! This song has really made me think about how I'm spending my time. Last week my best friend lost someone very close to her. I went to her house that night and tried to comfort her. We cried ourselves to sleep and ended up waking up an hour later on her bedroom floor. When I got home this song wouldn't stop playing in my head....It's amazing!

I wanna leave my footprints on the sands of time
Know there was something that
Meant something that I left behind
When I leave this world,
I'll leave no regrets
Leave something to remember,
So they won't forget

I was here...
I lived, I loved
I was here...
I did, I've done, everything that I wanted
And it was more than I thought it would be
I will leave my mark so everyone will know
I was here...

I want to say I lived each day,
Until I die
And know that I meant something in somebody's life
The hearts I have touched,
Will be the proof that I leave
That I made a difference
And this world will see

I was here...
I lived, I loved
I was here...
I did, I've done, everything that I wanted
And it was more than I thought it would be
I will leave my mark so everyone will know

I was here...
I lived, I loved
I was here...
I did, I've done, everything that I wanted
And it was more than I thought it would be
I will leave my mark so everyone will know
I was here...

I just want them to know
That I gave my all,
Did my best
Brought someone some happiness
Left this world a little better just because...
I was here...

I was here...
I lived, I loved
I was here...
I did, I've done, everything that I wanted
And it was more than I thought it would be
I wanna leave my mark so everyone will know
I was here...

(I lived, I loved)
(I did, I've done)
(I lived, I loved)
(I did, I've done)
I was here...

I thought about this song as I was graduating high school, when Becky passed away, as I'm headed off to serve the people of Vietnam, and as I'm preparing to serve an LDS mission! I'm so ready leave my mark and make a difference in someone's life! Vietnam here I come! Just 11 days 16 hours and 58 minutes but who's counting?

Cancer Sucks!

Every summer I get to be part of something amazing! I get to go volunteer at a camp for cancer patients and their siblings. The point of the camp is not about cancer. It is about being an average kid. It's about not having to worry about your sister who is in chemo or not being able to swim like everyone else because infection is too risky. This camp is all about making these kids feel like kids! This camp changes lives.

Throughout the week I get to watch the kids learn how to be confident with themselves and become best friends with everyone in their cabin! I get to be a part of healing these kids! I'm 100% convinced that this camp heals these families. It gives them the hope they need to never give up on their fight against cancer. Camp shows them that they aren't alone. They have hundreds of people who want to help them! That, my friends, is healing! 

The stories from camp are endless! They range from a mouse having 4 babies in a girls suit case while we were sleeping; to the various amounts of pranks that the kids loved to pull- more than half involved me getting soaked from head to toe. I was in the Arts and Crafts cabin most of the time which means I got to spend time with each kid learning something new about them every time. Those kids are hilarious. I was known as the "Justin Beiber Lover". All the kids would either mock me for it or love me for it. One Cabin of boys ended up naming their cabin the Justin Beliebers! Those kids never stopped handing out the surprises and laughs. They were all so fun! Everyone at camp seemed to be best friends. We were cracking inside jokes in a matter of hours. It was awesome!

One hour a week is set up to remember the people who we have lost. Every year I've thought of someone to plant a flower for. This year was a little closer to home. I planted a flower for Tyler. He lost his fight to cancer about 5 months ago. It was amazing to be able to feel Tyler with us all throughout camp. I believe Tyler was constantly sending us hints that he was there! Maybe that's why this years camp was just a little bit more special.....
This month there is a 5k called Millie's Princess Run! Go be a part of it! Trust me, it's worth getting up early for!
http://www.milliesprincessrun.org

1

Me!

The biggest part of growing up is figuring out who you are and what you want to be. Lately my friend, Jen, has been asking me this a lot! Who do I want to be? Who am I now? What do I see myself becoming? These were really hard for me to answer because at first I had no idea..Slowly I've started to figure out bits and pieces though. This is what I've come up with.

-I see myself as good person. I like doing things for others and being part of something great!
-I see myself as being smart and good at math and science.
-I see myself as being a good friend and having some of the greatest friends I could ever ask for!

 

-I see myself as a determined athlete. I know I'm not the best figure skater or runner but I really strive to be better every day.

-I see myself as a strong member of the LDS church

-I see myself as a happy person!

-I see myself as a leader. I love being in charge of planning group activities or anything like that!

-I see myself as being a pretty hard core dancer/singer!

Things that I hope to be:

-I want to graduate from Utah State University!

-I hope to be a better communicator. Right now I'm just not good at saying what I think.
-I'm striving to be a successful adult and find the carrier that will make me the most happy! SCARY!
-I want to be an LDS missionary! (turning in my papers in a year!)
-I want to learn to be one of them healthy eaters!
-I want to be a worldwide traveler! (GOING TO VIETNAM IN JUST 90 DAYS WITH THIS BEAUTIFUL GIRL!)

-I want people to see me as an example!
-I want to be a wife to someone like my dad and brothers. Those boys are the most perfect boys I know. All are return missionaries and just so fun and hard working. I love them to death! They do so much for me!
-I gotta be a mommy someday! Kids are my life! It for sure is going to be the hardest job in the world but I couldn't be more excited for the day when some freakin' chubby baby calls me mom. AHHH (yes, that picture is me)

-I for sure want to be more like the amazing women in my life (All of them..heather and megan included!) These ladies are smart, strong, confident, independent women that I never stop looking up to and trying to keep up with!

I know that I have the potential to be something great! I am so excite and scared to go to college and figure out who the real Carly is. The other day my brother told me that the best thing I can do is be myself, the real me is going to work for some people and not for others no matter what. So why not just be yourself? I've got nothing to lose. 

Sorry I've been so bad at blogging lately! One of these days I will figure out a story that is worth telling. For now, enjoy my random ranting about life!